IdyllopusPress Presents

Heretik notes that GSAVE, the Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism, is the New Coke and that the War On Terror is back by popular demand or Bush’s demand, which is the new popular demand.

I’d previously written that GSAVE wasn’t snappy enough. 13 syllables or 12, depending on if you split the “-is” from the “-m” in “-ism”. War Against Terror is 5 syllables. War On Terror is an even better 4. As none have good acronyms (GSAVE, WAT, WOT) then it’s best to go short form, emphatic. Plus it wouldn’t have done for Bush to go on vacation at a time when America was reeling from the news that the good fight had been downgraded to a struggle.

Bush’s speech to the American Legislative Exchange Council in Grapevine, Texas was a definitive, “Make no mistake about it, this is a war against people who profess an ideology, and they use terror as a means to achieve their objectives.”

War Against People Who Profess an Ideology is also too long. 14 syllables. I suspect, however, Bush may have argued perhaps two minutes for this phrase at some point, which is why he drug it out here. He may have been gently told that clarifiers were needed on the ideology.

Not Bush: It can’t be a war against terror. The enemy isn’t terrorism, it’s the people who use terrorism to achieve their goals.

Bush: Why can’t the war be against terrorism?

Not Bush: If we say war then people expect the military to be the winning solution, they expect a cut-and-dried victory.

Bush: I don’t see anything wrong with that.

Not Bush: We can’t give it to them.

Bush: So?

Not Bush: So, we need to call it a struggle. Struggles are indefinite, even perpetual. A struggle is a state of being.

Bush: Ok, how about the Global Struggle Against Terrorism?

Not Bush: It can’t be a struggle against terror because terror is the method. The enemies are violent extremists who profess an ideology in which terror is viewed as a viable weapon.

Bush: Haha! Good one. You even had me almost convinced there.

Not Bush: Off topic. We need you to concentrate.

Bush: How about Global Struggle Against People Who Profess an Ideology?

Not Bush (after a pause): Too indefinite.

Bush: You’re right. Like you said, struggles are indefinite. Wimpy. How about War Against People Who Profess an Ideology?

Not Bush (after a pause): No.

Bush: How about, We’re At War! ( Which really is the official phrase. “We’re at War!” Bush repeated it numerous times during his speech. We’re at war with. We’re at war against. Make no mistake, we’re at war.)

So it was decided to give Bush back his War On Terror.

And Bush could go on vacation while the nation Waged Peace in a strong, powerful, not struggling kind of way.