I took the stomach acid reducer, but laughter is the best medicine

Following Iranian news from the usual sources I’ve been noting. Now taking a stomach acid reducer.

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Once upon a time, there was a Family Values governor whose wife and “Cubby Culbertson” knew he was having affair, and the gov and the wife and the “spiritual giant” were really working on this really hard in political back rooms, trying to make it all right.

Then the Family Values man thought “No one will pay attention to me while Iran is falling apart” and told his staff he was going hiking and he piled camping gear in his vehicle and drove to the airport and flew away to South America because, as he later told reporters, he needed to go somewhere exotic and get out of his bubble.

The Family Values governor’s wife interpreted this as Family Values husband deciding he couldn’t stand the public not knowing about his affair any longer, and the governor’s wife said to the press, “I don’t know where he is”, because she was passively-aggressively cooperating by throwing the press a game called Solve This Riddle.

The governor cried and cried in Argentina because he knew this meant he would never be president which was really unfair. He thought of Bill Clinton and how he’d demanded Clinton resign over Lewinsky and his betraying family values. And it still felt very unfair. “I know, it’s so unfair,” his lover said. And together, in Argentina, they cried.

The end.

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Juli Kearns

Juli Kearns is the author of Thunderbird and the Ball of Twine and Unending Wonders of a Subatomic World (or) In Search of the Great Penguin. She is also an artist/photographer, and the person behind the web alter of "Idyllopus Press".

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