One day, Bill Frist went out to buy some shoes…

Juli Kearns Everyday Stories 1 Comment

Oh, I am so in love. I can’t believe this. Picked the story up from Sarah Lee’s at Dkos. Frist goes shoe shopping at Allen Edmonds and Americans United to Protect Social Security and the Campaign for America’s Future ambush him for debate. In the meanwhile Frist is double parked and holding up traffic and gets ticketed! Thank you! Delightful photos are at this link of Frist engaged, and of his SUV being ticketed.

I was going to put up one of the photos unadulterated but my seven year old son got involved.

The story.

Gabby is a greedy, grumpy, cocky, stupid, bullying, self-serving, contentious, know-it-all, invisible clown who sometimes shows up around here. “Oh, no, Gabby’s in the apartment building,” said my son, “we gotta stop him!” What had brought Gabby around, I don’t know because I was in the bathroom so I called out what’s Gabby doing here and son answered he’s going around making trouble and throwing things so I said let’s show Gabby the door, and son said couldn’t do that, he couldn’t think of anything we could do to get Gabby to leave, but he wanted me to get out there fast so we could think of something. Well, me being me, Frist popped to mind and I told son wait a second, I knew of something we could do, I had some photos to show him, wait until I was out of the bathroom. “Yea!” says son, excited. So, I come out and I pull up the photos of the confrontation with Frist. And I tell him all about how Gabby Frist likes to bully people around and take their money too, and all these people were like us and were out there with their signs telling Gabby what they thought of him.

Now, don’t ask me how I make this interesting for a seven year old. And it’s not like H.o.p. is a child who hangs on my every word and thinks all mom’s ideas and stories are grand. Not the case around here. H.o.p. is called H.o.p. because he’s “His Own Person” and always has been. And it’s not like my bedtime stories to H.o.p. are bad government wolf coming to eat the common Red Wagon Hood (H.o.p. calls her Red Wagon Hood). This was just a stroke of inspiration on my part. I knew H.o.p. would love confronting Gabby with a bright yellow sign and saying, “No, Gabby, you can’t do this.” And I was right. And I can put on a marginally entertaining, involving show for H.o.p. with my story about how these wonderful people weren’t powerless in the face of Grabby Gabby. Plus there was the added interest of Gabby spending $530 on two pairs of shoes, which H.o.p. related to as his dad bought his first pair of shoes (boots) in six years yesterday (literally had holes in the soles), and mom, who only wears boots, hasn’t purchased a new pair in six years either.

H.o.p. loved it. He wanted to see every photo and was asking about the people. He wanted to know what every sign read. He wanted to know where I was. (No, H.o.p., mom wasn’t there.) H.o.p. then asked me to download a photo. “Put Elmo in it holding a yellow sign!” You want Elmo in it? Yes, he wanted Elmo in it holding one of the signs! So I put Elmo in the photo and H.o.p. stood over me making sure I got it just right, that it fit his vision and when I was done he said, satisfied, “Elmo is real.”

Anyway, this post comes to you courtesy me and H.o.p., at his initiation. I think H.o.p.’s idea of Elmo joining the protest was a grand idea.

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