But why wouldn’t they like you if they have nice puppets?

So, horror of horrors, I had just finished doing the “Hell, located, described and measured according to Dominionist Policitical Science” cartoon, and I go in to be with H.o.p. and there he has on the television, gasp, Trinity Broadcasting Network and he is watching because it’s “Mr. Henry’s Wild and Wacky World” and Mr. Henry has puppets. H.o.p. loves puppets. We go to see almost all the shows at the Center for Puppetry Arts. He has fabricated puppets for years. Friday night we played quite some time with a spider shadow puppet he’d made once.

He had never seen TBN before.

He doesn’t watch commercial television, the violence being too much for him, so does not “surf”, but he had been flipping through the channels looking for a Saturday morning cartoon he’d like to watch and saw the puppets and that was that.

“Wow, a new children’s show!” H.o.p. said. He was so excited.

Trinity Broadcasting Network, TBN, is the world’s largest Christian television network according to Wikipedia. It was founded in 1973 by Paul and Jan Crouch (both Assemblies of God). It now owns 23 full power television stations in the US and 252 low-power rural stations, is carried on over 6000 television stations and has a viewership of 5,000,000 households per week in the U.S. Then there’s cable. It’s carried on thousands of cable stations in 75 countries. TBN keeps growing though as it now gives itself as carried on over 5000 television stations, 33 satellites and thousands of cable systems around the world.

The programming is given as ecumenical, with the main program being “Praise the Lord”. It generates $170,000,000 annually, 2/3s of which is from contributions. It has posted an average annual surplus of $60,000,00 each year since 1997. As of 2002 it had $583,000,000 in assets, including $238,000,000 in government-backed securities and $31,000,000 in cash. Among its assets are a $7.2 million Canadair Turbojet and 30 houses sprinkled nationwide with values ranging up to $8,000,000 (I read on the Illuminations blog that instead they have 100 houses, including two mansions).

The network has attracted criticism for its continuous fundraising activites, including a “prosperity gospel”, an offshoot of the Word of faith doctrine that appears to promise donors, including impecunious ones, that God will make them rich as long as they have faith and give to TBN. Paul Crouch has made statements to his viewers such as, “Have you got something that you have been praying about ten, fifteen, twenty years? You have been praying for it and haven’t gotten it…It could be that you haven’t gotten it because you are a tightwad and you haven’t given your ten percent [referring to ten-percent tithing].” During a 1997 program, he conversely said, “If you have been healed or saved or blessed through TBN and have not contributed…you are robbing God and will lose your reward in heaven.” The network reports that seventy percent of its donations are in amounts under fifty dollars. Some viewers consider the Crouch’s prosperity as a positive demonstration of the success of their prosperity gospel message.

Somehow this all manages to be tax exempt.

TBN’s declared mission as a tax-exempt Christian charity is to produce and broadcast television shows and movies “for the purpose of spreading the Gospel to the world.” …

Crouch was led to the satellite ministry by god.

One evening in 1975, he was inspired to embrace a new technology. Crouch wrote that he was sitting in the den of his Newport Beach home when God projected a map of the U.S. on the ceiling. Beams of light struck major population centers, then spread throughout the country.

“I sat there transfixed by what I was seeing as I cried out to God to show me what all this meant,” Crouch wrote. “As I waited upon the Lord, He spoke a ringing, resounding word to my spirit — ‘Satellite!’ ”

Paul Crouch is into cursing people. In 1997 he said:

God, we proclaim death to anything or anyone that will lift a hand against this network and this ministry that belongs to You, God. It is Your work, it is Your idea, it is Your property, it is Your airwaves, it is Your world, and we proclaim death to anything that would stand in the way of God’s great voice of proclamation to the whole world. In the Name of Jesus, and all the people said Amen!

The following paragraph (well, almost following) would not be news if Paul Crouch wasn’t anti-gay. New Wine E-Church website supplies the following fairly usual kind of diatribe by Rod Parsley which Paul hosted on TBN. It’s Rod Parsley speaking, Paul enthusiastically endorsing:

You foul spirit of homosexuality and lesbianism, right now, get ready, get ready, get ready, get ready, get ready, get ready. [Founder of the TBN Network Paul Crouch is now standing to his feet repeatedly raising both arms in the air with clenched fist “in agreement” with Parsley.] I – Paul – I’m about to do it, I’m about to do it. Listen – [Parsley walks over to Paul Crouch founder of TBN who is now standing in agreement with Parsley.] Dr. Crouch listen. Before Brother Sumrall went to heaven, he pulled me up to him [Parsley now grabbing the lapel of Crouch’s white suit.] and he said, ‘I’m releasing an anointing -‘ I’ve never told this publicly not even in my church. He said, ‘I’m releasing an anointing into you right now that you will give one command [Parsley starts poking Crouch’s chest with his index finger.] over television and 10,000 homosexual spirits will be broken.’ I’ve never shared that. I feel that anointing right now. I feel that anointing right now. I feel that anointing right now. Somebody go to your phone. If God’s telling yeh to go to your phone and your not going – that breaks the agreement. Do you understand that? That breaks the agreement. Go to your phone. DO SOME THING. I’m tellin yeh, there’s an anointing right now on $1,000. 1,000 dollars – make my – make my check out for $1,000…your about to get a promotion, your about to get a raise…[etc.]…[Parsley now prays.] Father…[etc.]… I come in agreement right now with the anointing passed down through my spiritual heritage. From Smith Wigglesworth…to Lester Sumrall…I call on that anointing…my dear friend, my dear friend bond by the spirit of homosexuality and lesbianism. I tell’in yeh right now, lesbians are drinking in the bed with lesbians right now – and when I pray this prayer, your coming out – yeh getting yeh things – yeh going home – yeh coming back to God. Right now, in the name of Jesus, we bind the homosexual spirit, we bind the lesbian spirit [Camera now shows a Butch looking woman in the audience and is quickly focused back on Parsley.] – for the express reason of setting God’s people free – NOW – in the name of Jesus – come out of them and – SET – THEM – FREE. Now everybody in agreement praise God for 15 seconds. [Praise is made through out the TBN studios, including by the LIVE TV audience.] Go to your phone, go to your phone, go to your phone, go to your phone, go to your phone, go to your phone…

Who’s Rod Parsley, who began as an Assemblies of God minister? In April, Alan Keyes and Ann Coulter and Rod Parsley spoke at Parsley’s World Harvest Church in Ohio at what was essentially a Republican rally, which has to do with Dominionists in Ohio “nmounting a campaign to win control of local government posts and Republican organizations, starting with the 2006 governor’s race.”

The book and the rally speakers, including conservative activist Alan Keyes and author Ann Coulter, argued that the notion of separation of church and state is a lie — and that it’s time for conservative Christians and “values voters” to be more involved in the political process.

“The church is still that sleeping giant that has the ability and the power from God almighty to transform our nation from the heart and from the inside out,” Parsley said in a booming voice that drew shouts of “Amen!” and “Go, Pastor!” in the nearly filled church, which he founded.

“We are the largest special-interest group in America, and the world and the nation are about to find out that we have a voice.”

Parsley founded the Center for Moral Clarity last July to promote Christian values that he says are under attack by popular culture. It actively supported ballot issues in Ohio and other states last fall to ban gay marriage, issues that attracted voters credited with helping re-elect President Bush.

Besides yesterday’s rally, Christian groups plan a series of events in Ohio in the coming weeks to train conservative activists, register 300,000 new voters for the 2006 statewide elections and promote what Parsley has called “policies that prioritize life, faith and issues of the family.”

Ok. That’s the flavor of it all.

The kicker (getting back to Paul Crouch).

A September 2004 story in the LA Times gives Paul Crouch as having had an affair with a male employee who subsequently extorted money and then was paid $425,000 by Crouch in 1997 in an out of court settlement after the by then ex-employee accused TBN of wrongful termination. Jim Bakker ( Assemblies of God, who was at TBN from 1972 to 1974, along with Tammy, and now runs a television ministry out of Ozark Countryville, Branson, Missouri) also had some problems with condemning homosexuality and then being exposed as having a relationship with a male employee.

So, it really felt odd explaining to my son that he could watch the show if he wanted to, I understood his liking the puppets, but I wanted him to know these were people who wouldn’t like the politics or beliefs of his mom or dad, and wouldn’t like his uncle who is gay. Considering Paul Crouch’s history this seemed an odd thing to tell him.

Paul Crouch recently threatened to sue the reality TV show “Lie Detector” if they aired an episode featuring the individual who states he was Crouch’s lover. NBC backed off.

TBN has a “Statement of Faith” which reveals they believe in the Bible as infallible, of course, Jan and Paul Crouch being Assemblies of God.

This is the Assemblies of God official standing on homosexuality. They don’t like.

Anyway, there was my son watching Mr. Henry, hosted by Frank Peretti (his father was an Assemblies of God minister and he too is an Assemblies of God minister), a children’s show done by a Christian horror writer. Pharyngula notes Frank teaches his anti-evolution stance through his horror,

“My goal is to make them think about evolution,” he said. “Evolution as a philosophy makes monsters out of all us. It removes all that makes us human – morals, virtue, love, honor, self-sacrifice. All those become illusory. I’m trying to raise some questions. Who is the real monster here? I do it through a monster story.”

His Mr. Henry show however has him as an inventor and gives the impression of him being a scientist teaching moral tales. Very soon we were watching a cartoon of Cain and Abel. It began with Abel telling Cain that god didn’t like his sacrifice. That he wasn’t supposed to sacrifice moldy strawberries, he was supposed to sacrifice his best animals. I sat and watched with some anxiety as H.o.p. doesn’t like certain subjects and it occurred to me they were going to run into some problems with first depicting sacrifice (the selected sheep gives a cartoonish “yipes” expression and starts backing off screen) and the murder of Abel (Abel goes off screen, lots of nonsense commotion against a red background ensues). The story is that Abel, now cursed, will die before he gets to eat any of his tomatoes.

Seems to me a fair amount of the time that the worse you do, the more massive the scale, the easier you get off.

Thankfully most of the show ended up being about respecting others, not bullying them, even exploring the notion that sometimes people who hurt others had been deeply hurt themselves. It sounded intimately acquainted enough that I wondered if Mr. Henry had some major problems with being bullied as a child and a glance around the internet shows that he was bullied as a child.

There were parts where I had the eerie sense I’d been popped back to the 60s and 70s when that Country variety show ruled the airwaves in the south, and I was also somehow back in the Ozarks, though I never was in the Ozarks (except for drives through Branson), but my father’s parents lived in southwestern Missouri (the drives through Branson) and indeed I felt like I was somehow back in their living room watching television though they never watched Country. Plus a dollop of early 80s “New Wave” televison culture thrown in with the choices of what was viewed as eccentric and offbeat wrung through a conservative Christian filter. Reinforced when a band appeared out of the wall and Mr. Henry picked up a banjo and started strumming bluegrass (turns out he’s also a musician and it was his band).

Eventually Mr. Henry said something that had me burying my face in a pillow and when I came up for air that’s when I said to H.o.p., see that little icon down on the side of the television screen? That icon means you’re watching a station called Trinity Broadcasting Network. The people there believe in things mom and dad don’t believe in. I know you like the puppets, H.o.p., but I want you to know these people wouldn’t like your mom or dad or a lot of the people we know. On these shows they preach religion and things mom and dad don’t believe in and they would say your mom and dad and their friends and your uncle were bad people.

It’s difficult, because H.o.p. doesn’t believe in anything yet except drawing and Godzilla and puppets and cartoon characters, which is the problem, I don’t want him suckered by child-friendly puppets. But I don’t want to be caustic either. So I figure the best way to handle it is a basic truth, that these people wouldn’t like mommy and daddy and friends.

Which feels uncomfortable telling him when his father’s parents are Southern Baptist (his grandfather a Southern Baptist Minister) and his father’s mother’s family was and is Assemblies of God and her brother a long time president of an Assemblies of God college. Not that H.o.p. even knows his grandmother has a brother as he doesn’t, he’s never met him, neither have I, it has never been encouraged that we meet.

“What’s row-ligion?” H.o.p. asked.

He’s seven. There are some things we obviously don’t talk about around here. Not long ago someone told him he was bad because he didn’t go to church. He didn’t even begin to get it.

“It’s religion. Religion teaches people a particular way of seeing the world and thinking about and behaving toward others. People who share the same beliefs in how to see the world sometimes belong to a religion that teaches those things.”

“They wouldn’t like you? But Mr. Henry’s nice and has nice puppets.”

Sure, Mr. Henry acts nice and I was inclined to want to like Mr. Henry because H.o.p. liked the puppets and and all the activity and kid’s stuff, but Mr. Henry is Assemblies of God and Assemblies of God thinks H.o.p.’s mom and dad are sinners destined for hell, so, uhm, it’s kind of hard to get around that big difference of opinion there.

“H.o.p., they would think mommy and daddy are bad people.” I didn’t mention hell. H.o.p. has never heard about hell. “They wouldn’t like mommy’s art or writing. They wouldn’t like the stories we tell you. We live very different lives. They think a lot of people are bad who we don’t think are bad.”

Never mind the whole idea of loving the sinner but hating the sin. I wasn’t going to get into that. H.o.p. is not ready to hear that.

The programming switched to another children’s show. H.o.p. wasn’t interested in that one but he left the station on as we went about the apartment doing other things. I didn’t ask him to turn it off. If he was still interested in watching, he could watch. Then another children’s show came on and he called me to the room and pointed to the TBN icon and I said yes, it was the TBN station and so this was another TBN show.

He pointed at the person on the screen and asked, “What’s that?”

As best as I could tell it was a person done up in yellow make-up who was supposed to be something like an evil spirit influencing children. I said, “That’s supposed to be what they think of as a demon.”

“What’s a demon?”

“An evil spirit.”

“What’s an evil spirit? What’s he doing?”

“He’s supposedly talking to the children and telling them to do bad things.”

“Why would he do that?”

“The television show wants you to think he wants the children to be bad too.”

“Why?”

“I guess that’s what they believe.”

“Why is he yellow?”

“I don’t know.”

And right about that time H.o.p. got creeped out by the man with the yellow face and he cut off the television.


Posted

in

by

Comments

3 responses to “But why wouldn’t they like you if they have nice puppets?”

  1. Jim McCulloch Avatar

    I think I would still stick to the way we raised two kids, without a tv at all. Of course when they get older they watch it some at other people’s houses, and my mother who was a very indulgent grandparent let my daughter watch anything she wanted, but I don’t think there were any Taliban puppets at Grandma’s house. Maybe that’s just because they didn’t have cable.

  2. site admin Avatar

    We don’t have cable either. Building isn’t rigged for it.

    I had read you’d long ago thrown out the television. We are too in love with moviesand H.o.p. is too in love with animation. He draws and draws and draws, going through stacks and stacks of paper. And he studies those cartoons and draws them. Doesn’t draw just the cartoons, no. But he studies those ‘toons and picks out in a second what “makes” a character, the critical features, and sketches, sketches. Every single cartoon is analyzed. He talks about shapes, backgrounds, expressions. Analyzes it all. Asks questions about it all. (I thought preteen was when mom was supposed to be wrong about everything but he has me sketch a toon scene then will start correcting it and take over and he is almost always right, he has observed something I didn’t.) So, it would have been interesting, yes, how things would have developed around here without television. But here it is and he’s in love with drawing the toons and creating stories around them. He was drawing things at the age of 6 I would never be able to do. Incredible understanding of infusing a sense of movement and personality in just a few lines.

  3. jay taber Avatar

    And where would we have been without Jay Ward?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *