Good griefinicious, there lies my brain, on the floor, all drippy puddled and entreating me to try to mold it so it has some measure of coherence again. But it ain’t happening. When I nudge it, all I’m getting are little burps of H.o.p.’s computer game music. Oops, now it spits out anxious images of dismal global-warming futures then resettles in a mess on the floor. More computer game music burps. I stomp it.
“Need coffee,” it says.
“You are beyond caffeine resuscitation.”
“I hear the kettle’s whine. Get coffee.”
“You need something, but whatever it is is beyond my power, seeing as how you are lying in a mess on the floor, leaving me witless.”
“Quit stomping me and get that coffee.”
“No. Get up and exercise, damn you. Work it!”
“Caffeine! Music! Some John Coltrane. How about John Coltrane?”
“Everyone’s asleep but me, resting up after the past week’s exertions. The apartment steeps in dreamy silence. I don’t want to wake them up.”
“Now!”
“OK. How about this?”
Listen to Coltrane.
Not good. Takes over three minutes for my brain to start moving at all.
And it woke Marty. He’s not ready for Coltrane so I say what else and we volley it for a few minutes, he keeps saying no no listen to what you’re listening to that’s fine, if you want to listen to Coltrane go ahead, and I keep saying no come on I’m not sold right now, what else.
How about some Art Blakey.
I listen to Blakey.
Damn, not doing it for me this morning. Which is bad.
Bill Evans? Fish around and find “Waltz for Debby”.
While “Waltz for Debby” plays, I’ll get the dust pan and shovel my brain up off the floor, flog it with some coffee and see if I can get its electric self remotely registering again on the voltage meter. But I can see this is going to take some time.
(Time passes.)
H.o.p. (from the bedroom): OK, dad! I’m getting up!
Me: Your dad’s taking a shower right now!
H.o.p.: But…
(Time passes.)
“But what?” I’m thinking. “But what?”
(Time passes.)
Me: But what?!
(Time passes.)
H.o.p. is up and munching gummy vitamins while I listen to a Danish guy announce Monica Zetterlund and Bill Evans, “Once Upon a Summertime”.
Wasn’t thrilled with that selection.
Dum de dum.
OK, here we go. Yo Yo Ma and the Sesame Street Honkers.
(More time passes.)
(Quite a lot more time passes.)
What can I say? Nothing’s working. I’m at a loss…
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