The National Counterterrorism Center for Kids Page sucks. You knew it would but it sucks even more than you could have guessed.
The reason I was there is The Spy Who Billed Me’s blog on the National Counterterrorism Center’s release of their 2007 Counterterrorism Calendar, which I went to take a look at and is one hefty download.
Hah. Then I saw the kid’s section and thought well let’s check this out. Me and H.o.p. both.
First stop is the NCTC Kids Home Page which introduces Beaker the Eagle and Little Lady Liberty who “will come along with you as you learn about the National Counterterrorism Center”. Little Lady Liberty is minty green but desaturate her and you get a suspiciously Casper the Friendly Ghost experience.
“What do you think of them?” I asked H.o.p.
“I think they look ridiculous.”
“Why do they look ridiculous?”
“Actually they look kind of funny.”
“What do you think of Beaker the Eagle?”
“He’s kind of cute. Is he supposed to be the Bald Eagle?”
“Yes. What do you think of Little Lady Liberty?”
“She’s cute. She looks like the Statue of Liberty.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
OK. So he found the cartoons cute. I wasn’t going to argue with that, but I decided it was time to take a side trip to look at many pics of the Statue of Liberty, including old ones, and to talk about its origins–and of course along the way I pointed out that the Statue of Liberty wasn’t going to mean the same thing to American Indians as it did to immigrants. Then looking at pics, H.o..p. pointed out a Google one showing banners hanging from Lady Liberty and we checked it out and it was a 2000 news article on a Vieques protest. And we talked about that. Then he pointed out a Google pic showing Lady Liberty as the famous Abu Gharib hooded prisoner standing on a box wired up for fake electrocution and he asked what was that about and we talked about the history of that some.
Then we went back to the NCTC website.
The “Who We Are” page states, well, it’s one of many organizations with a goal of defeating and deterring terrorism. A little pic of Little Liberty accompanies. There are a number of links to the kids pages of related agencies and half the links do not work which is slack.
On the “What We Do” page it says, well, they serve as a main center for intelligence related to terrorism. A little pic of Beaker Eagle accompanies. I was reading the text to H.o.p. and found it extremely difficult, my tongue consistently stumbling over the words.
For example: First and foremost, we serve as the main center for all intelligence related to terrorism. This includes information on all known and suspected terrorists and terror groups. We are responsible for making sure that all other organizations that need this information get this information.
I just couldn’t say the above and the other paragraphs without mangling it all badly, switching syllables everywhere, which started with having so many times to read “defeat and deter” terrorism, which became quickly a tongue twister.
The “When We Started” page brings back Little Lady Liberty standing beside three paragraphs devoted to Bush establishing the NCTC with dates and legislation mentioned.
The “Why We Are Here” page returns Beaker Eagle saying they were created to deter and defeat international terrorism.
All of it, I thought, to a kid’s ears will likely be jabberwocky nonsense.
The Activities page? A one page PDF of Little Lady Liberty for coloring in, and the same for Beaker the Eagle.
That’s all? How lame. I heap scorn upon it here (heaping of scorn applied) and wonder how much those two measly cartoony characters cost and how much and what kind of research went into developing them.
And isn’t Little Lady Liberty (who holds the torch in her right hand rather than her left [update: I mean vice-versa…sorry, the dyslexia thing]), Casper the Friendly Spook with a tiara and a pistachio ice cream cone?
Ok, never mind. My hyperactive imagination.
So, I read all this to H.o.p. and then asked, “What did this website teach you?” I really was interested in finding out what H.o.p. would extract from those few pages, and after our virtual tour of the Statue of Liberty I had read the NCTC Kids pages to him as freely of ridicule as possible.
“I learned about the Statue of Liberty,” he said.
“No, we went off elsewhere and read about the Statue of Liberty and its history. What did you learn here?”
“I dunno? I didn’t understand it. About fear being used to hurt people? I didn’t understand the other stuff.”
Ok. Fear was the one word retained. Interesting.
He must not have thought Beaker Eagle and Little Lady Liberty were that cute. He didn’t ask me to print them out which means they didn’t pass the cut.
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